Once an ass, always an ass!

When my daughter was little I used to refer to her backside as her 'tata'.  However, one fine day my husband called it an 'ass' and it stuck.  Much as I at first tried to stick to the original designated term (bearing in mind that I'm living in a fairly conservative Catholic country and my daughter might well have ended up being schooled by nuns, I thought it best to avoid what might be considered brash language on a 5 year old), ever since then it has been referred to as an 'ass'.

Now four or five years later, I have embraced the term and go out of my way to incorporate it into my daily banter with the kids.  The challenge is to insert it where it's least expected ..if you want them to fall about laughing that is.  For example, my daughter announces out of the blue in the middle of eating her supper  "I'm hot, I'm hot, I'm feeling hot" like the sky is going to fall in if the situation is not resolved immediately.  My response might be "you know what's hot?  My ass is hot" or "you know what's going to feel hot? Your ass when I've whooped it."  If I say this to my 3 year old son, his response is usually "whoop it mama, whoop it" ...even if his is the ass in question!  A bigger challenge is "I'm feeling cold, I'm feeling cold".  Again usually in the middle of a meal when hands are dirty and resolving temperature issues entails cleaning hands and dressing or undressing kids in the middle of trying to cook or eat one's own meal.  As I began my response to this latest challenge with the usual "you know what's going to feel ...cold? (husband and kids were already giggling in anticipation of how I was going to incorporate the word 'ass') ...the ice pack you're going to need to put on your ass after I've whooped it!"

As you may have gathered, 'ass whoopings', as well as 'asses' in general are another great theme in our household, but don't worry, they hardly ever get any!

By the way, my husband also found a great way of bringing 'ass' into the conversation the other day.  Pointing at one of the (now shrivelled up) balloons the kids had brought home from a birthday party several weeks before, he announced proudly "look, it's mama's ass!"  Cheeky sod!!

By Mummy Dearest